Zhan Xian – Chapter 1 – Start (Rewrite)

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REWRITTEN

I feel as though I really f’d up this chapter, so I’ve rewritten it. I felt as though it was much too…not fluent. Like it was forced. Like some grade-schooler was writing it and trying to force himself. I’ll let you compare with the old version. Oh, and SO MANY IDIOMS, MUST USE THEM ALL!

Chapter 1 – Rebirth

People say that when he was facing death, his lifetime would be remembered with many things done, especially those opportunities missed, regretfully, most people are not willing to. Yang Chen is now in this kind of situation.

The first flash to hit his mind, Yang Chen, after being falsely accused, was under desperate circumstances with nowhere to run to. The main offender was before Yang Chen’s eyes, proudly clamouring, but Yang Chen was seriously injured, unable to resist.

“I killed people, I did that, so what? Who will believe you now? You are that murderer!” Yang Xi’s sardonic face, in front of Yang Chen was incomparably clear: “I’ll tell you, it was me who passed on the news, it was me who drew the Highest Heaven’s young Lord to come, I murdered him, I falsely accused you, so what?”

“You’re despicable!” The seriously injured Yang Chen, absolutely unable to directly resist Yang Xi, could only bawl out.

“What thing are you? Also fit to possess ten thousand years of Zhu Guo (朱果)? Is your appearance not letting loose of your own piss?” Yang Xi sneered: “It was me who had the Highest Heaven accuse you, you seek to obtain Highest Heaven’s young Lord’s Zhu Guo, assassin. Highest Heaven rewarded with Zhu Guo to kill you. Blame it, blame you who could not adapt to current circumstances, at that time, you obediently handed over your Zhu Guo, only nothing happened? You, the lowly seed born in my Dian Hu house, are also fit to posses Zhu Guo? Also dare to refuse my request?”

……

The second appearance was Highest Heaven forcing Yang Chen’s Master, Mei Nu, demanding her to practice Ding Lu (鼎炉), Master Mei Nu vowed to die rather than obey, indignantly committing suicide.
(美女师父 translates as beautiful woman master, but it makes the text flow better as a name, correct me if I’m wrong)

“Yang Chen, go, however far you flee, do not think of revenge for me, to keep on living, go!” Master Mei Nu’s look in her eyes while bidding farewell was so clear in Yang Chen’s mind, even when facing death, Yang Chen could also feel that heart wrenching pain.

“Master, blame me! Blame me for involving you!” Yang knelt before his Master, choked with tears.

Because of one Zhu Guo, Yang Chen was framed by Yang Xi, now it even implicated his Master in the end. Highest Heaven’s present age gate Lord suddenly discovered that Yang Chen’s Master, Mei Nu, unexpectedly had acquired the rarely seen full spiritual roots, immediately deciding to have her practice her own Ding Lu. Highest Heaven’s four Yuanying monks surrounded the Chunyang Palace, at this moment there was no road to the sky, nor door into the earth.
(Idiom – to be trapped in a hopeless situation)

“Yang Chen, go!’ The firmness in Master Mei Nu’s eyes did not change the slightest amount. A blood escaping art carried Yang Chen outside the encirclement, Yang Chen saw the final glimpse of his Master, the scene of blowing up her Yuanying.

“Master!” Yang Chen’s bitter cry almost stretched continuously for dozens of miles.

……

The third scene to appear was Yang Chen, just after recently flying. Yang Chen formerly believed that after training hard to finally fly, it was at last possible to take revenge and wipe out a grudge, but he had not foreseen that he was, after all, a single man. Confronting Highest Heaven’s major sects this way, as before, with no strategy left to try, he had no choice of final option but to fly. But, after flying, he unexpectedly ran into the Highest Heaven he relied on in the spiritual world of immortals.

“Your flying is also rubbish, you are an example to others, letting them know the fate of offending me!” The former Highest Heaven’s gate Lord, now Highest Heaven’s deputy Lord, sneered watching Yang Chen, he was right under control.

Everyone flying after the man could see Yang Chen’s miserable situation, but as powerful as Heaven is, everybody did not dare to have complaints. Anyways, Yang Chen was to suffer hardships, everyone thought it was only a lesson. But Yang Chen also suffered countless millenniums of misery for this reason.

……

But soon, Yang Chen returned to the memory of his happiest image, of course it was the moment when Master Mei Nu gifted him his first flying sword.

“Yang Chen, this Mingguang sword (这明光剑), I refined specially for you, you have properly seized the trick, practice it diligently!” Master’s slim, jade-like fingers held the Mingguang sword, delivering it in front of Yang Chen, at that moment was Yang Chen’s happiest moment on the road of practice.

The image froze, in the body came a burst of pain that teared the heart and split the lungs, Yang Chen could not help but utter a scream.

“Ah……”

A long scream came out from Yang Chen’s mouth, voice to the brim with dense unwillingness, shocking all the surrounding people.

“Which person dares to clamour a loud voice in this place?” An angry shout passed over, followed by the sudden appearance of a lazy figure, immediately seeing the crowd at a loss to know what to do with Yang Chen.

“Clamouring in the monastery main gate without cause of reason, not yet entered the monastery main gate (山门) and so rude, this year’s spiritual roots test, you need not participate!” Yang Chen did not clearly see what the person who came looked like, the person had already come and brushed his large sleeves, Yang Chen, without the freedom to act independently flew up in the air, hands and feet tripping in the sky, flying off into the distance.
(Idiom – dancing in the sky)

Thump, Yang Chen was thrown down onto the ground, unable to get up for half of the day. But the acute pain was understood by Yang Chen, he was alive.

Alive under the Devil, Yi Lao’s, exploding style arts (天魔爆体大法)? This is simply amazing, what be this little bit of pain? Yang Chen’s heart under ecstasy, awaited to be using Xuangong to heal the pain, only to find the inside of his body without a single trace of magic power.

Under great alarm, Yang Chen was almost afraid to believe, once more maneuvering, still, nothing happened. Could it be total magic power loss? This is big trouble, Yang Chen’s heart suddenly trembled, suddenly thinking of the scene just recently. Monastery main gate? Spiritual roots test? What is that?

Now Yang Chen discovered that he was not in the world of immortal’s magic battlefield, rather in a very strange place. Surrounded by verdant hills and limpid water, haze rising in spirals, seemingly a rather good place to practice.
(Idiom – the hills and water = enchanting scenery)

Struggling to sit up and crawl, Yang Chen unexpectedly discovered his body’s attire, homespun clothing from head to toe, pressing around his waist somewhat painfully, under feeling with his hand, at last he felt the handle of sharp machete.

Bang, Yang Chen’s mind was like a thunderbolt, it was clear in a flash, this was the time in the past to participate in Highest Heaven’s spiritual roots test. He was under the bombardment of devil exploding style arts, not only didn’t he die, but he also returned his childhood.

“This is the secular world outside Highest Heaven’s monastery main gate!” Looking away at a distant place full of every kind of emotion showing in his eyes seeming to be for a familiar figure, Yang Chen was thoroughly certain that he was reborn. Those people he was unfamiliar with was because they had already been forgotten long ago, no less than ten thousand years ago.

But, a long time was also unable to eliminate Yang Chen’s hatred for Highest Heaven. Precisely, Yang Xi entering Highest heaven and killing Highest Heaven’s young Lord afterwards, stayed in his head. Then all that suffering, this whole thing, this sect had something to do with it.

From becoming a great golden immortal and suddenly changing into a mortal, besides hatred, Yang Chen’s heart did not know how to describe his mood at this time. Only one thing can be certain, no matter how, he was still alive. One hundred thousand celestial troops and generals’ bodies could only perish and disappear, at least he was still alive, but also still living in a person’s most exciting moments.
(Idiom – 十万天兵天将身陨道消 , no idea, maybe once you fall, get back up again?)

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3 thoughts on “Zhan Xian – Chapter 1 – Start (Rewrite)

  1. Hi there, someone already take this project btw, if you want to reach him in this web : lordofscrubs.wordpress.com. i thought you can sooperate or workin together like tny or xian ni or might be like knw.

    Like

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